I was…not prepared.

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🚨WARNING: Spoilers ahead, obvs.🚨

Hello, dear reader! Tis I! Back at it again with another “I watched this so you don’t have to” post. For over a week now, I’ve been hearing multiple people talk about this show called Squid Game, so I decided to take a look!

Ehis Osifo / BuzzFeed

Right off the bat, I’ll admit that I do not know a DAMN THING about this show. Is it a game show? A drama? A comedy? An aquatic documentary? Who’s to say!

Fox / Comedy Central

So, even though no one asked, I decided to watch the first episode of the series and give you my thoughts anyway:

Before we jump in, here’s the synopsis that Netflix gives for Squid Game:

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“Hundreds of cash-strapped players accept a strange invitation to compete in children’s games. Inside, a tempting prize awaits — with deadly high stakes.” 

Initial thought: I didn’t know that this show was in Korean!! But I am HERE FOR IT! I love that a foreign show is getting all this buzz!

Golden Globes

Thirty seconds in and I can already do this:

Netflix / Sony Pictures

This dude (aka Gi-hun, our protagonist) is tryna steal money from his mom’s bank card! I am straight-up not rooting for this mans:

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Sadly, Gi-hun figured out the pin — it was changed from his birthday to his daughter, Ga-yeong’s, birthday. The very daughter he should be out buying a present for and instead is using those funds to bet on the fuckin’ ponies. SMH. I won’t be mad if he dies. 

I am so mad Gi-hun won, but HOPEFULLY he uses his winnings to buy Ga-yeong a really nice birthday present:

Gi-hun’s bookies are chasing him for the money he owes — and, TBH, I don’t condone gambling, but I’m not upset about this man getting his ass kicked — and while on the run, he bumps into this kid who I FEEL LIKE is going to come back into play:

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You don’t linger on someone like that for a one-off. 

I WAS RIGHT! The kid stole his money!

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Get ur bag, chile. 

OK, now I feel bad.

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This is terrifying. 

OK, they’re giving him a month to get the funds, but sir, DON’T SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT READING IT FIRST!

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“Disclaimer of physical rights.” THIS! IS! SUS!

Ga-yeong is an icon and deserves a better father than Gi-hun:

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Icons only. Also, quelle surprise, Gi-hun not only didn’t get her a gift, but he couldn’t even buy her the fried chicken that she wanted! 

THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!

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Gi-hun has a month to pay back these gangsters AND his mom! Not to mention he gave his daughter a shitty birthday, so methinks he’s going to play this game and get some mula, baby!

My mind immediately went to this. Just sayin’:

This seems sus…but I obvs want him to play because I gotta see how this pans out:

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Red pill, blue pill.

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT READING BEFORE YOU SIGN SOMETHING?

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Sure, you won money in a slap game, but now this stranger OWNS YOUR BODY, SON!

Gi-hun is gonna play the ~mysterious~ game in order to win money to get his daughter back / keep her from moving to America with her mom and stepdad.

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I also assume paying off his debts has something to do with it too. But still, this is the most valiant thing he’s done all episode. 

Holy shit. That is a lot of people participating in this game…

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There are 456 people to be exact. 

OMG, IT’S THE KID FROM EARLIER!

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“I didn’t run away — I just went independent.” That’s a baller line. But also, don’t beat up a young girl. 

OK, we’re getting some rules! Six games over the course of six days, and if you win, you get money…

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…however, I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say that there’s NO WAY it’s that easy. 

Awe, sookie sookie, now!

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They’re all desperate…which means they’ll do anything to win. 

Another day — or rather, the same day — another signed contract without reading the fine print:

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This is ominous and is not going to end well. 

OK, game one is “Green Light, Red Light!” Seems easy enough! I used to play this game as a kid:

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I dont like that they’re saying, if you lose, you’ll be “eliminated.” Like yeeted from the game…or yeeted from life??? 

Yeeted from life, got it.

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Yeah…when you move, you don’t get kicked out of the game; you die. After the first person died, they all tried to escape, which is against the rules because you can’t move until you’re allowed! Needless to say…a lot of people died. 

Big brother…or, I guess, big doll girl, is always watching:

Work smarter, not harder. Hide behind someone so your movements can’t be detected:

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I’m rooting for this girl. 

WAIT, WHO IS THIS MANS?

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He’s a STRANGER and saved Gi-hun from a certain death. I take it back; I’m rooting for HIM.

HOLY. SHIT. Again, I didn’t know what I was getting into when I first started this show, but now ya girl is HOOKED! I will say, if gore isn’t your thing, maaayyybeeee stay away from this one, but if you don’t mind bloodshed and twisted mind games, then this is the show for you!

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