Trust is the foundation of every relationship. It takes time to have such faith in a person. That is why when lost, it is not easy to regain. You see every time you do something that will make another person doubt you, you lose their trust. You may think that it was just one small mistake, but it is never that easy. The other person feels betrayed and they have to carry the burden of forgiving you. Relating with you may become strained as they try to work out their emotions. It may be a long time before they look at you again with the same trust they had in the beginning.

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When a relationship loses trust, it is on its way down. There is a quote by Ronald Reagan that says ‘trust but verify’. Many people fall on this hurdle. Can people verify what you tell them? If you tell your spouse that you are going somewhere is it confirmable? Or you assume that they should take your word for it? Remember your word is not good enough once you have misused it even once. If a child tells the parents that they are visiting friends and then the parents realize that the child lied, they will not be easy on that child. Now they will want to have a blow-by-blow account on everything that the child does. Basically, the child’s freedom will be curtailed because he misused it.

To keep trust you need to be accountable to someone. Do what you said you would do and go where you said you were going.  If you cannot be held responsible for your actions, then you don’t deserve to be trusted. If you betrayed someone’s trust, be willing to have your actions scrutinized. When you are adamant that you have changed but refuse to open up your life for enquiry, then you are still in the dark. Arthur Ashe put it beautifully, ‘trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time.’ Don’t rush to trust someone before you know them.

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