“WIPE. UR. NOSE. CHILD.”
Now, I haven’t actually seen the original movie. However, I do have an interest in teen Netflix rom-coms, and Addison Rae is…a person, so naturally I watched it immediately.
We start off strong: Addison Rae is playing an influencer. She has profiteroles. I like profiteroles.
We are then introduced to her boyfriend. At the risk of getting ahead of myself, I think it’s worth pointing out that Addison’s character later brags about having given this man a makeover.
But no! Addison finds the man cheating on her! And — gasp — her tearful, profiterole-throwing reaction is caught on a livestream.
In the days that ensue, Addison then goes viral in the “wrong way,” despite all the comments on the Live being rather positive. She is met with chilling comments like, “WIPE. UR. NOSE. CHILD.”
We are then introduced to Rachael Leigh Cook as Addison’s mom. However, this character is NOT related to her role in the original.
Addison then (I’m sorry, I find it very difficult to use her character name here) laments over her breakup, given that he was “125 pounds of bad hair” when they first met. The minutes have dragged by since I first watched the trailer, and I have not been able to stop thinking about this line.
Her friends then challenge her to make over a guy of their choosing, over some very natural and not-at-all-product-placement bottles of CORE WATER.
As for the person her friends bet Addison cannot make over? The man who must be an impossible task? A lost cause? They pick this conventionally attractive man, Cameron.
Cameron is into really weird things, like…photography.
Addison then TikToks so hard she falls off a horse into some conveniently placed poop. This moment is also romantic. These sentences were also painful for me to write.
Then, Kourtney Kardashian inexplicably appears and describes Cameron as “scruffy, but cute.” I sincerely hope that she is playing herself.
Now, you might think that this trailer will leave us hanging as to what Cameron’s makeover will involve.
But no, Cameron emerges as a baby Chuck Bass in the trailer itself.
Now, my summary might sound quite negative here! A bit sardonic! But I can assure you, dear reader, I will nevertheless be grumbling my way through this movie the moment it hits Netflix.
TV and Movies
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